I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
