You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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