Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
