butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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