She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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