You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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