The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
