I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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