I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
