Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
