..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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