I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
