Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize