And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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