So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
