Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am spending my child support on dildos
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
