Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
