I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
