I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
