If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
