I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
