Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
