They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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