Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
