47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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