you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
lets start a swedish sibling band together
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Never underestimate the power of titties
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
