so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
