"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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