Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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