I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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