Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
