I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
