I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
