So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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