I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
