There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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