piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Screwed.edu
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
