I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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