you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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