What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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