you would pick up someone in the library
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize