Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
