At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
