my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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