well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
