I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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