so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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