his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
