it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
