Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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