I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
