Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my liver is dry heaving
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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