drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
