so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
