I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
