So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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