so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So much rum. So many feels.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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