K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
