addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
