How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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