I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
