i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
