I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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