names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
