this boner is exhausting
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
